Bearing Good Fruit in You: A Reminder for Moms

It took me a while to write this article.

We’re in the thick of parenting. My husband, Trevor, and I have six beautiful children, ages 9 years down to 5 months. I adore them and absolutely love being a mom. They truly are a joy and a delight—I mean that with my whole heart . . . even though just last week I was hiding in the bathroom, bawling my eyes out because it had been a day and I was feeling incredibly discouraged.

“Am I doing it right?”

“Why is [one particular child] still struggling with this? I’ve tried everything!”

“What am I doing wrong?”

In C. S. Lewis’ The Silver Chair, Jill accidentally knocks Eustace off the side of a cliff because of her own foolishness (don’t worry, he was fine). She immediately bursts into tears (understandably!) and has a good cry . . . and then what? The book says,

Crying is all right in its way while it lasts. But you have to stop sooner or later, and then you still have to decide what to do.1

Crying is all well and good sometimes—in God’s good design, crying helps relieve stress and reset emotions—but after you finish crying, you have to do something. In my case, the children still need to be fed, cared for, and discipled (and who knows what they’ve gotten into while I indulged in a few moments of emotionalism!). And what I immediately did was the first thing that came to mind: I started singing.

Great is thy faithfulness, O God my Father.
There is no shadow of turning with thee,
Thou changest not, thy compassions they fail not.
As thou has been, thou forever wilt be.

In that moment, God reminded me that he is faithful to me and he will give me the exact grace that I need—both for myself and to pour out on my children. In my weakness as a mother, he is strong. He has called me to a noble task in mothering—discipling the hearts of my children in truth—but it’s a task that is challenging in a fallen world and, ultimately, impossible without Christ and his sustaining grace. In all the difficulty and complexity that is gospel-centered mothering in a world broken by sin, this is true:

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. (2 Corinthians 12:9)

I am weak; he is strong. And he has a high calling for me in my motherhood—my sanctification.

And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. (Philippians 1:6)

Sanctifying Sandpaper

When my children are frustrated with one another, I’ll often remind them that God gave them siblings to sanctify them. It’s in the frustrations and difficulties of living with other sinners that God shows us (or those around us, like parents) our sin natures so we can repent and grow in the fruit of the Spirit. And that’s true of me in my mothering.

When my children are trying my patience or are really struggling, and it’s breaking my heart and forcing me to my knees to cry out to God for wisdom, he is sanctifying me. They are the “sanctifying sandpaper” I need to grow in Christlikeness. Whether that’s to expose a sin in my own heart by what comes out of my mouth in times of frustration—after all, “out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks” (Luke 6:45)—or to make me more reliant on Christ for my daily strength, God is working on my heart while I try to help my children with their hearts.

As my Father, God cares about me, just as I care about my children.

This work is as much about sanctifying me as it is about raising godly children. My heavenly Father doesn’t just care about my children being sanctified. As their mother, that’s my primary focus, but as my Father, God cares about me, just as I care about my children.

“It Does Not Cease to Bear Fruit”

The following day—which was “a new day with no mistakes in it yet,” to quote my favorite heroine, Anne Shirley—was Sunday, and the liturgical readings at my church were from Jeremiah 17. It hit me like a ton of bricks:

Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord,
  whose trust is the Lord.

He is like a tree planted by water,
  that sends out its roots by the stream,
and does not fear when heat comes,
  for its leaves remain green,
and is not anxious in the year of drought,
  for it does not cease to bear fruit. (Jeremiah 17:7–8)

I was in the bathroom crying that particular Saturday afternoon because one of my children is really struggling with a particular sin issue, and nothing we’ve tried to help this child seems to be working. When one of my elders read that the man who trusts in the Lord has no fear when “heat comes” and is not anxious in “the year of drought,” I was immediately convicted of my own reliance on my own strength. Heat was being applied to my life, and I’m in a “drought” of fruit in the life of this dear child, but I am a tree planted by the water because my trust is in the Lord.

My trust is not in my skill as a mom. It’s not in the intense love and care I have for my children. It’s not in my example to them. It’s not in the wisdom I try to impart from God’s Word. It’s not in me or any of these good things. My trust must be in the Lord.

And when my confidence is in God, what’s the result? “[That tree] does not cease to bear fruit”; I will bear fruit unto righteousness. This doesn’t mean, of course, that I am promised the fruit I want in my children. But it does mean that I will produce the fruit that God desires to see in my life, by his grace. And isn’t that the ultimate goal of everything we do as Christians?

For to me to live is Christ. (Philippians 1:21)

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. (Ephesians 2:10)

It’s all about Christ in me, making me more like him as I grow in the fruit of his Spirit.

Oh, What to Write?

I was asked weeks ago to write an article for Mother’s Day on “a biblical perspective on a mother’s role.” I wanted to write about the joys of mothering because, despite how somber this article sounds, I can’t stress enough what a joy it is to be the mother of Winston, Felicity, Lois, Gilbert, Veronica, and Diana.

Aside from Christ and his Word, and my amazing husband, Trevor, they are my dearest treasures. They make me smile and laugh every single day. I can’t get enough of my five little blond-haired Schus and my new chubby little red-haired Schu. They are all sleeping as I write this, and the house is just too quiet without their dear little voices. If I think too long about what it means that I get to be those precious little souls’ mother, I’ll cry (the tears are welling up even now!).

That’s what I wanted to write about. But every time I started the article, it just wasn’t quite right. So Trevor told me to write about what the Lord is teaching me in my parenting right now. And, when I thought about it, I realized sanctification is a biblical perspective on a mother’s role because, as a Christian, everything God brings into our life is ultimately for his glory and our good as we grow to become more like the only perfect parent, God our heavenly Father.

And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. (Galatians 6:9)

So happy Mother’s Day! Whether you’re on a mountain, in a valley, or somewhere in between with your mothering, may you rely on Christ today (and every day) to bear good fruit in you while you faithfully obey his calling on your life.