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Characters: Millard Grover (industrial spy), Mr. Peterson (park director), Gabe and Cody (show hosts), Miss Ryan (administrative assistant).
(Scene begins with MILLARD peeking his head over the top of the set. He’s on top of a ladder and plans to jump over the wall and sneak into IncrediWorld. It’s early in the morning before the park has opened.)
MILLARD: (to himself as he looks through his binoculars) Hmmm . . . so, THIS is the illustrious IncrediWorld, huh? Impressive. And better yet . . . there’s no one around to see me . . . ha, ha, ha. Now to jump over this wall (as he prepares to jump). Okay, here goes. One small step for man . . . and one giant leap for—AHHHHHHH!! (as he falls making a Loud Crash [sfx], then emerges from backstage, crawling and in disarray) That was NOT cool, Millard! (as he starts to put himself back together, the sound of his Cell Phone [sfx] is heard back stage) That sounds like my cell phone! (he checks his belt and notices that his phone is missing) It must be in my backpack. (as he reaches behind him, he notices that his backpack is missing too) My backpack’s gone too! (short pause as he thinks) It must have come off when I fell. (he runs backstage to retrieve his phone and backpack, then returns looking at his phone and seeing that his boss is calling) It’s Mr. Romano (he quickly looks left and right to see if anyone is around, then answers with a discreet voice) Hello?
MR. ROMANO (1): (pre-recorded voice) I thought you were never going to answer the phone! What took you so long?!
MILLARD: Uh . . . technical difficulties, sir. (changes to a loud whisper) By the way, remember to use our code names. I’m Yellow Jacket and you’re Bumble Bee.
MR. ROMANO (2): Forget the silly code names! You watch too much TV! So . . . did you get in?
MILLARD: Yes, I’m in. I jumped over the wall.
MR. ROMANO (3): So, what’s it like?
MILLARD: What’s the wall like?
MR. ROMANO (4): No! What’s the park like?! Is it as “incredible” as they say?
MILLARD: Well . . . I have to admit, sir . . . what I’ve seen so far looks very nice. The landscaping is well-manicured, the buildings are bright and colorful, and everything—(interrupted by MR. ROMANO).
MR. ROMANO (5): (interrupts MILLARD) All right, that’s enough. I get the picture. Okay . . . you know what to do, right?
MILLARD: (confident) Yes, sir! You can count on me. There’s no way they’re going to win the “World’s Best Theme Park” award this year!
MR. ROMANO (6): Well . . . they better not, or you’re going to be scraping gum off the pavement for the rest of your life! That title belongs to us—Big Thrill Theme Park—and I don’t intend to share it with anyone! Do I make myself clear?
MILLARD: (intimidated) Uh . . . yes, sir. You’ve made yourself . . . (he swallows hard) . . . very clear.
MR. ROMANO (7): Good! DON’T fail me!
(MILLARD, with a sober look on his face, closes his cell phone and puts it away. Suddenly, MR. PETERSON enters from the rear of the auditorium with folders in hand. MILLARD begins to check through the contents of his backpack and doesn’t see him walking toward the stage. When he arrives at the base of the stage, he stops for a moment and watches MILLARD.)
MR. PETERSON: (annoyed) Can I help you find something?
MILLARD: (startled, he quickly tries to think of an answer) Oh! Uh . . . no I was just . . . uh . . . just looking for my . . . my cell phone. And here it is (as he holds it up).
MR. PETERSON: (a bit sarcastic) Well, I’m delighted that you found it. You know, I don’t believe we’ve met. (as he extends his hand) My name is Mr. Peterson. I’m the Park Director.
MILLARD: (intimidated, he slowly shakes MR. PETERSON’S hand) Park . . . Director?
MR. PETERSON: That’s right. What’s your name?
MILLARD: (slowly) It’s Grover, sir. Millard Grover.
MR. PETERSON: Well, Millard Grover. Do you mind if I ask why you’re late?
MILLARD: (confused) Late?
MR. PETERSON: You missed the staff meeting.
MILLARD: (more confused) Staff meeting?
MR. PETERSON: They didn’t tell you about the daily staff meeting?
MILLARD: (suddenly realizing he’s being mistaken for an employee, he plays along) Oh . . . of course! The daily staff meeting! So it’s uh . . . daily, is it?
MR. PETERSON: Yes . . . and that means EVERY day.
MILLARD: Right . . . I’ll need to make a note of that.
MR. PETERSON: Good. Now I suggest you get into your uniform right away. The park opens in one hour.
MILLARD: Yes, Mr. . . . uh . . . uh . . .
MR. PETERSON: Peterson.
MILLARD: Peterson. Yes, Mr. Peterson.
(As MILLARD quickly zips his backpack closed and starts to exit stage right, GABE and CODY enter from the left rear of the auditorium. They sneak down the left side toward the stage trying not to be seen by MR. PETERSON.)
MR. PETERSON: Uh . . . Millard. The employee lockers are that way (as he points toward the IncrediWorld Offices sign). See the sign, “Employees Only”?
MILLARD: Oh, of course. . . . . I got turned around. Thank you, Mr. Peterson.
(MR. PETERSON watches as MILLARD turns and exits toward the IncrediWorld Offices.)
MILLARD: It was nice to meet you, Mr. Peterson!
(As MILLARD exits, GABE and CODY quickly and carefully sneak up onto the stage and then disappear backstage while MR. PETERSON’S back is turned. Then MISS RYAN enters from the IncrediWorld Offices.)
MR. PETERSON: (to himself) He’d better not be working the Sky Ride, that’s all I can say.
MISS RYAN: Good morning, Mr. Peterson.
MR. PETERSON: Morning, Miss Ryan. And how are you today?
MISS RYAN: (happy) I’m doing fine, sir. Guess what? We just received a call from Adventure TV (as she hands him a note).
MR. PETERSON: Really? What did they want?
MISS RYAN: They just said they’d like to visit the park this week and needed to speak to you. Of course, I told them you’d return their call as soon as possible.
MR. PETERSON: Hmmm . . . Adventure TV coming to IncrediWorld. That’s kind of a big deal, isn’t it. Okay, I’ll call them as soon as I get back. I just need to speak to the guys here, first.
MISS RYAN: Better you than me (as she looks around suspiciously).
MR. PETERSON: Why do you say that?
MISS RYAN: I just don’t trust them, that’s all. It seems they’ve always got something up their sleeve.
MR. PETERSON: Who? Gabe and Cody?
MISS RYAN: Yes . . . Gabe and Cody. You just haven’t been a victim yet. But, don’t worry . . . your turn will come.
MR. PETERSON: Well . . . we’ll just have to see about that. (Suddenly they’re startled by the sound of an Elephant Roar [sfx] which causes MR. PETERSON to drop his files.)
MISS RYAN: See . . . that’s what I’m talking about.
MR. PETERSON: (to GABE and CODY, a bit annoyed) Okay . . . time to stop playing with the sound effects!
MISS RYAN: When are they ever going to grow up?!
(As MISS RYAN begins to pick up MR. PETERSON’S papers, CODY and GABE emerge from backstage laughing. GABE is also carrying a small bag of mealworms.)
MR. PETERSON: (to MISS RYAN) That’s okay, Miss Ryan, we’ll let The Extreme Team do that.
MISS RYAN: Good idea (as she drops the papers she had just picked up and then steps behind MR. PETERSON).
GABE: Sorry . . . we just got this fantastic animal sounds library, and we just had to try it out on somebody!
MR. PETERSON: (sarcastic) Of course, you did.
CODY: (to GABE) That elephant is awesome!
(GABE starts to munch on his mealworms as CODY takes over picking up the papers for MR. PETERSON.)
GABE: What’s wrong, Miss Ryan? Why are you hiding?
MISS RYAN: Just keeping a safe distance. I never know what may be flying or crawling or . . . slithering around either of you.
MR. PETERSON: (to GABE) What’s that you’re eating?
MISS RYAN: Eww! See what I mean?!
GABE: They’re not bad, really. Would you like to try one?
MISS RYAN: (shudders) Disgusting.
(MISS RYAN quickly exits, returning to the IncrediWorld Offices.)
MR. PETERSON: You’re kidding, right?
GABE: No, look (as he holds the bag open) Go ahead, try one. They’re very nutritious.
MR. PETERSON: (as he grimaces) No thanks, I’d rather take a vitamin.
CODY: (to GABE) I’ll take some.
GABE: (as he holds the bag out for CODY) Help yourself.
CODY: (as he looks into the bag and grabs a few) Oh, man! You took all the big, juicy ones!
(MR. PETERSON watches closely as CODY eats several mealworms.)
GABE: (to MR. PETERSON) See? Sure you don’t want any?
MR. PETERSON: (grimaces) I think I’m going to be sick.
GABE: Guess we’d better talk about something else (as he puts his bag of mealworms away). Hey . . . are we still on for staff devotions tomorrow?
MR. PETERSON: Yes, in fact, that’s why I came over here in the first place. I wanted to make sure you remembered. So, have you decided what you’re going to do yet?
CODY: Well . . . we thought we’d do a couple creature features since that’s our specialty.
MR. PETERSON: Good . . . I was hoping you’d say that . . . since most of the staff doesn’t get to see your show.
GABE: Yeah, but the hard part is deciding which ones to do.
MR. PETERSON: It doesn’t matter. They’re all fascinating, if you ask me. Every time I watch your show and learn about some animal, I’m just amazed by the handiwork of God!
GABE: I know. Isn’t it incredible?!
CODY: You mean, isn’t HE incredible?!
MR. PETERSON: How anyone can think that it all just happened by chance is totally beyond me. It makes no sense at all! It’s not even good science!
CODY: And yet they teach evolution and millions of years like it’s a fact . . . when, really, it’s just a belief. I think it’s terrible!
GABE: Yeah . . . a terrible lie!
MR. PETERSON: And that’s why we need places like IncrediWorld . . . so people can have another opportunity to hear the truth. But always remember . . . even with all the evidence of design we see in these creatures, the very best evidence for creation is the Bible.
GABE: That’s right. And the Bible says that God created everything and He did it in six short days . . . not millions and billions of years.
(MILLARD emerges wearing a sweep staff uniform and carrying a broom. As soon as he sees MR. PETERSON, he ducks down to hide. He’s still visible to the audience, however.)
CODY: Amen, brother!
MR. PETERSON: (as he looks at his watch) Well, I guess I’d better get going. I have to make an important phone call. Adventure TV called this morning. They want to come to IncrediWorld this week.
CODY: Really?? Adventure TV? That’s kind of a big deal!
GABE: Why do they want to come here?
MR. PETERSON: I don’t know yet. I’ve got to call them back to find out.
GABE: You think they’d film our show?
MR. PETERSON: I suppose that’s possible.
CODY: You mean we might be on TV? I’d better wash this shirt (as he smells his armpits).
GABE: (to CODY) Good idea. (to MR. PETERSON) Hey, are they still doing that award thing?
MR. PETERSON: The “World’s Best Theme Park” Award? Yes, they are.
GABE: And didn’t we win it last year.
CODY: C’mon, Gabe! We won it the last three years in a row! (With that comment, MILLARD rolls his eyes.)
MR. PETERSON: You know . . . it’s quite an honor winning that award considering all the other great theme parks . . . but, best of all, it gives us a platform for our message! (as he starts to leave) I’ll let you know what’s up as soon as I find out. In the meantime, let’s be sure we’re at “the top of our game.” First impressions are very important!
(MR. PETERSON exits toward the IncrediWorld Offices.)
CODY: C’mon, Gabe. We’ve got work to do.
GABE: I’m right behind you.
CODY: (as he exits the stage) Wow . . . this is exciting!
(As GABE and CODY exit backstage, MILLARD comes out of hiding. He picks up a balloon that’s lying on the ground and crosses to center stage.)
MILLARD: Well, well, well . . . so Adventure TV is coming to IncrediWorld. That’s perfect! We’ll just have to welcome them, won’t we? (then he pops the balloon and gives a long sinister laugh followed by a couple snorts and a cough)