Playing the Long Game

One of the most enduring questions I have received from audiences and private conversations in my 20 years of teaching apologetics takes some form of the following: “How do I reach people when they don’t want to discuss God, the Bible, or the gospel, etc.?”

Here’s a few ideas I hope may help with that type of situation.

Through the Heaving Line—Not the Hawser

Years ago, I read a book written by a life insurance agent who had grown his portfolio during one of the most difficult times for someone in that profession—the Great Depression.

In this book, he points out a better way to approach a potential client that he realized while watching the ship on which he was vacationing dock. He noticed a crew member skillfully throwing a ball of rope attached to a thin line to a dock worker below, who then pulled the huge rope by the thin line onto the dock to secure the massive ship.

When he asked the seaman what was going on, he was told that the mooring lines that secure large vessels are called “hawsers,” but “these ropes are far too heavy to throw from ship to shore.”1 So, to draw the hawsers in, a smaller rope called the “heaving line” is attached to the hawsers. A small rope ball (called the monkey’s fist) is fastened on the other end of the heaving line to allow it to be thrown ashore.

Upon witnessing the strategy of utilizing a simpler approach to make the subsequent “heavy lifting” far easier, the author realized that attempting to arrange brief (five minute) initial meetings with potential clients not only made future meetings often possible, but also more often successful than his normal attempts to sell to his clients during their first encounter.

Essentially, he realized he should throw the heaving line, not the hawser, when trying to secure himself to his potential client. This can also be used as an analogy to how we might share the truth of God’s Word at certain times. What do I mean?

Hard to Reach

I would imagine most believers have had interactions with people who seem quite resistant to the things of God and the gospel or are simply very private and insular in their dealings with others. These people are (or appear) “standoffish,” and like to remain at an arm’s length, so to speak, unwilling to be involved in deeper conversations initially.

However, many of these folks are people we engage with again and again, so building bridges to allow future interactions (which may be more profound, and perhaps yield better fruit) should be our goal.

The “Foolishness” of the Gospel

We understand, “of course, it’s the ‘foolish’ preaching of the simple Gospel message that ultimately saves.”2 As my good friend Cory McKenna (the Equipping Evangelist3) has often said, “You can’t water an unsown seed.” So, sharing the gospel should always be our main goal in any encounter.

However, as many people have already dismissed the Bible as truth or have convinced themselves “not to discuss religion,” beginning a discussion directly may lead to disinterest and/or the person shutting down the conversation. “This is why creation apologetics are essential when sharing Christ with an atheistic, evolutionary culture.”4

Creation and Conscience

“God has written His Law on the hearts of all people and given them a conscience whereby they know it’s wrong when they lie, steal, blaspheme, etc.”5 They also know when injustice has been done to them; oftentimes, discussions around personal injustice will often get others to “open up” if you are sympathetic to them. And this, of course, can eventually lead to discussions as to where human rights come from.

They show that the work of the law is written on their hearts, while their conscience also bears witness, and their conflicting thoughts accuse or even excuse them. (Romans 2:15, ESV)

Romans 1:20 says that God has revealed that he exists to everyone through what he made—the creation itself:

For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse.

Planting seeds that touch on the topics of creation and conscience are often ways to begin tilling the hard ground of someone’s heart that doesn’t seem open to hearing.

Discussing “Science”

Because we live in an “evolutionized” world, topics relating to science often “help people become ‘intellectually engaged,’ causing them to voice their opinions and be more open to spiritual concepts.”6 Relating information to them from your own point of view can make them feel less threatened and defensive.

For example, if you state something like “Here is something I found convincing,” or “Let me give you an example that really impacted me,” you may find that continued conversation remains more accessible than telling someone that X, Y, or Z proves them wrong. People like to feel heard and to have their opinions carefully considered, which is a great opportunity to follow up “initial witnessing encounters via 1-on-1 meetings or on-line communications, in an attempt to further the person’s journey towards Christ.”7

It also helps if you can keep seed planting concepts short and sweet, as your interactions may initially be quite brief.

The “Pyramid Analogy”

An illustration shared with me years ago was the “pyramid analogy.” It’s useful when you’re faced with someone touting an atheistic and evolutionary worldview where you might say something to this effect: “Here is a question that impacted me in support of the idea that we were created by God—‘If you were to look at the outward structure of one of the great Egyptian pyramids, would you conclude it was created by an intelligent designer or it came into existence by chance?’ What would your answer be?”8

Most people will admit the pyramids look designed, which could lead you to continue, “Even if the stone blocks somehow mechanistically piled themselves into position, if you were to look at the internal passages of the pyramid and see hieroglyphics (a language) painted on the wall, would it be logical to conclude that this is pretty well absolute confirmation in your mind that someone sophisticated created these structures?”9

Most people will answer in the affirmative, which could lead to them saying, “Well when I look at you externally it seems obvious that you were designed by someone, and internally you have the most sophisticated language system ever imagined in the form of DNA! Do you think from the evidence that it’s possible there is a God?”10

Pebble in the Shoe

This simple, non-antagonistic line of reasoning will often result in someone agreeing that it’s possible God exists, and “for many that is a huge first step!”11 Oftentimes, you may have to break off the conversation due to the time constraints of the situation, or it may be best to simply let the person marinate on that concept until your next engagement.

Hebrews 11:6 says,

And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him. (ESV)

After admitting there may be a God, from a human perspective the person is now just one step closer to being able to hear and perhaps (by God’s grace) receive the gospel.

Obviously, the analogy above is just one of many from the argument of design and information theory that can be expanded greatly and defended in a more robust manner. However, a simple analogy is often better to help someone understand that it is not unintellectual to believe in God and can “get to the heart of people’s stumbling blocks to the Gospel quickly, before they become disinterested and move on.”12

Be Friendly and Interesting

So, remember, in many situations it’s best to throw the heaving line—not the hawser. Powerful and easy-to-understand illustrations can lead to great conversations. And if at first you don’t succeed, try, and try again.

By being a friendly and interesting person who shows the love of Christ to those around you, you can avoid the painful sting of a missed opportunity (which we have likely all experienced). By showing genuine interest in people, and willingness to listen to them should they open up, you may find they will hang around and engage in lively conversations for a long time.

As Scripture says,

Let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven. (Matthew 5:16)