Beat the Heat

“Welcome to the third annual edition of Beat the Heat!” Willy Wander announced from his front porch. “This year, we welcome back my cousin, Andrew ‘Weak Sauce’ Wander. Andy, how are you feeling, buddy?”

Andy flashed a confident smile at the phone his cousin Willy was holding. “Bring it on!”

Willy’s siblings, Lily and Phil, cheered. Several years ago, Andy and Eva’s Uncle Bill had transformed his family farm into Wanders’ Hot Organic Acres (WHOA), where he grew peppers for his own hot sauces. After years of sampling those sauces, the Wander cousins had developed taste buds of steel. Their greatest joy became sharing the family’s latest pepper crop with Andy and Eva and filming their discomfort.

Eva had retired from this stunt last year, but Andy was determined to prove his toughness. Without telling his cousins, Andy had spent several months working his way up the WHOA line of hot sauces. First, he mastered WHOAlapeño Pop. Then came TobascWHOA Twist. He could now even handle multiple drops of WHOAtomic Bomb without crying.

“First up is the lowly jalapeño,” Willy announced as Lily handed Andy a green pepper. “Now, the jalapeño’s so mild, it barely counts as a pepper, but that didn’t stop it from knocking Eva out of the contest last year.”

Andy ate the whole jalapeño in a single bite. He winked at the camera while he chewed.

Andy ate the whole jalapeño in a single bite. He winked at the camera while he chewed.

“Little Andy’s growing up!” Lily said.

“Is he ready for the cayenne pepper?” Willy asked. “Viewers at home may remember that the cayenne brought Andy to his knees last year.”

Andy took a big bite of the pepper, making sure he got a mouthful of the extra spicy seeds.

Willy pushed the camera closer, ready for a show. The pepper was certainly spicy, but Andy refused to display a single sign of distress. After opening his mouth to show that he’d eaten the whole thing, Andy exchanged a high-five with his sister.

“Much respect!” Willy said. “This means Andy gets to take on the mighty habanero—100 times hotter than the jalapeño!”

Andy bounced in place like a boxer as he reached for the wrinkled orange pepper. He knew that habaneros provided the kick for the WHOAtomic Bomb sauce. This was the moment he’d been training for.

But before Andy could pop the habanero in his mouth, Phil held out an even more wrinkly pepper. “Try this one.”

Lily gasped slightly. “Is that—”

Phil cut her off. “Andy can handle it. Right?”

Andy took the wrinkled pepper and pointed to the camera. “Let’s! Beat! The! Heat!”

Chomp.

At first, Andy thought his cousin must have handed him the wrong pepper. This wasn’t spicy at all. The second bite gave him even more confidence.

Then everything changed.

Fire ignited in Andy’s mouth. This wasn’t just a spicy heat—Andy was positive that he had flames on his tongue. “Aghk!” he spit the pepper onto the porch before it could do any more damage.

Willy howled with laughter. “How was it?”

It wasn’t over. Not even close. Andy began to panic as fire spread from his tongue to his lips. He tried calling for help but couldn’t muster any words. The best he could do was wave his arms.

“What’s wrong?” Eva asked. She turned to her cousin. “What did you give him?”

Andy’s face turned red as he sweated and grunted.

“It’s a ghost pepper,” Phil said proudly. “New this year. Just picked the first batch from the field yesterday.”

Lily held out a water bottle, which Andy immediately chugged.

Big mistake.

Instead of extinguishing the fire, the water spread the flames. Now, Andy could feel his throat tightening. His ears rang. He grabbed his chest and started gasping.

“Call 911!” Eva screamed.

“He’s fine,” Phil said nervously.

“He doesn’t look fine,” Ava yelled, pounding on Andy’s back. “Breathe, Andy!”

Lily ran into the house, shouting, “Dad, Andy’s gonna die!”

A few seconds later, Uncle Bill emerged with a glass of milk for Andy. “Here, this will help!”

After 20 minutes, Andy could finally start to think again.

“Uncle Bill,” Andy said, wiping the sweat from his brow. “You’ve gotta get rid of those peppers. They're going to kill someone.”

“Oh, you were never in any real danger,” Uncle Bill chuckled.

“What did I tell you?” Phil smirked.

“That was still a dirty trick to play on Andy.” Uncle Bill frowned at Phil. “But it’s true, Andy. Lots of people pay good money to feel that heat.”

“But wait a minute!” Andy said. “I—I couldn’t breathe.”

“That’s the capsaicin (kap-SAY-sin) in the pepper,” Uncle Bill replied. “Capsaicin is a chemical that tricks the brain into thinking it’s in danger, even though there’s no actual heat.”

Andy took another glug of milk. “Why would God make something like that?”

“God designed plants to survive in a fallen world by adapting all kinds of defense methods,” Uncle Bill said. “Capsaicin defends pepper plants from being eaten by mammals and fungi.”

“And apparently me,” Andy murmured, taking another sip of milk.

“Did you know that the caffeine in coffee beans is poisonous to lots of insects?” Uncle Bill continued. “Or that some trees use sap to fight off beetle invasions? But my personal favorite is corn. Do you know how corn protects itself?”

The kids shook their heads.

“When caterpillars start eating corn, the plant releases a chemical that attracts wasps. Those wasps will zoom in and destroy the caterpillars before they can do more damage.”

“That’s incredible!” Eva said.

Uncle Bill nodded. “Even in a fallen world, we see God’s care and creativity everywhere we look. Speaking of creativity—” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small bottle of hot sauce labeled “The WHOA Reaper.” “Just whipped this up this morning. Anyone want to try it?”

The kids took a step back.

“I’m retiring,” Andy said before grabbing his cousin’s phone. “But I think Willy wants to give it a shot. I’ll film this time.”

What’s the Point?

After the fall, God allowed plants to develop tools to defend against predators that might wipe them out. Over the years, spice-loving humans have bred peppers to get even spicier! Even in a fallen world, God takes care of his creation—and we get to enjoy the delicious heat in the process.