Valentine’s Day: Love, Truth, and a Few Heart‑Shaped Questions

Valentine’s Day feels innocent enough, but like every holiday and cultural moment, it is not neutral. It teaches something about love. The only real question is whether our children are learning love from Scripture or from a clearance rack.

We must begin with an unashamed presupposition: God’s Word is the starting point for truth. That includes how we define love, how we celebrate it, and how we explain it to children who are still trying to figure out why candy hearts taste vaguely like chalk.

Love Begins with God, Not Feelings

Scripture makes this clear:

We love because he first loved us. (1 John 4:19)

Biblical love does not begin with emotion. It begins with God. Modern culture often presents love as a feeling you fall into, trip over, and eventually fall out of, usually right after Valentine’s Day decorations are replaced with Easter bunnies.

When they are taught that love is rooted in God’s character, they learn that love is secure.

The Bible presents love as covenantal, sacrificial, and grounded in truth. In Scripture, love is not “You make me happy,” but “I will act faithfully because God has commanded it.” That distinction matters. When children are taught that love is primarily a feeling, they learn that love is temporary. When they are taught that love is rooted in God’s character, they learn that love is secure.

Valentine: History, Faith, and Conviction

Valentine’s Day did not begin with candy hearts or awkward middle school card exchanges. The historical account most often associated with the holiday centers on Valentine, a Christian living under Roman rule in the third century.

According to early tradition, Valentine defied Emperor Claudius II’s ban on marriage, continuing to perform Christian weddings in secret. These were not impulse‑driven ceremonies fueled by romance, but covenantal unions rooted in God’s design for marriage. Valentine was imprisoned and ultimately executed for his faith.

Whether every detail of the account can be historically verified or not, the message is unmistakable: love expressed through obedience to God, faithfulness to biblical marriage, and a willingness to suffer rather than compromise truth. That version of love looks very different from what usually comes with a heart‑shaped balloon.

What the Bible Actually Says About Love

Scripture does not leave love undefined or open to cultural reinterpretation.

• God is love (1 John 4:8).
• Love is patient, kind, and selfless (1 Corinthians 13).
• Love is demonstrated supremely at the cross of Christ (Romans 5:8).
• Love is inseparable from truth and obedience (John 14:15).

Biblical love is not sentimental. It is holy. It does not ignore sin, redefine marriage, or elevate self above God. Love flows from a right understanding of who God is and who we are as his image bearers.

Parents: Shepherding Hearts at Home

Parents play a critical role in framing Valentine’s Day biblically. This does not require canceling the holiday or pretending candy does not exist (a strategy children will immediately see through). It does require intentional conversation.

Parents can:

• Talk openly about what love is and what it is not.
• Emphasize love as action and sacrifice, not just emotion.
• Use Valentine’s Day to point children to God’s love demonstrated in Christ.
• Reinforce God’s design for relationships, marriage, and family.

When parents anchor these conversations in Scripture, children learn that God’s definition of love is not restrictive. It is better.

The Church: Teaching Love with Truth

The church must model love the way Scripture defines it, not as a vague affirmation but as truth‑filled compassion.

Valentine’s Day provides opportunities to teach on biblical love, marriage, singleness, and Christ’s sacrificial love for the church. When churches speak clearly and lovingly, they reinforce what children are hopefully hearing at home and at school.

The School: Reinforcing a Biblical Worldview

In Christian education, Valentine’s Day should never be reduced to crafts and sugar highs alone. It is a worldview‑shaping opportunity. When schools intentionally teach biblical love, students begin to see that every area of life—including holidays—falls under Christ’s lordship.

Strong Roots Require Unity

Children thrive when parents, church, and school are aligned. When all three speak with one voice rooted in Scripture and grounded in a biblical worldview, students find stability. They are not confused by competing messages. They are discipled consistently.

A Better Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day does not need to be discarded, but it does need to be redeemed. When viewed through a biblical lens, it becomes a reminder that love is defined by God, is demonstrated through sacrifice, is grounded in truth, and ultimately points to Christ.

That is a message worth celebrating!