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Characters: Alex, Scuba-Man, Snorkel-Boy, Turtle, Octopus, Great White.
(On the way to The Abyss, SCUBA-MAN and SNORKEL-BOY overpowered GREAT WHITE and OCTOPUS. In the struggle, GREAT WHITE got away, but OCTOPUS was captured and “hand-cuffed.” The SUPERHEROES are now en route to the Scuba-Cave with OCTOPUS.)
(Day 4 Recorded Opening)
(The scene begins with GREAT WHITE quickly walking across the stage to the Scuba-Cave. He’s arranged an ambush, with some of his thugs, to take place inside the Scuba-Cave as soon as the SUPERHEROES arrive.)
GREAT WHITE: Good. No one’s around. (then he calls into the cave) You guys in there?
THUG VOICE 1: [Recorded] (from inside the Scuba-Cave) We’s here, boss.
GREAT WHITE: Perfect. The Super Duds will arrive soon, and then they’ll walk right into my little trap. And this time they won’t get away! Ha Ha Ha!
(As GREAT WHITE goes into the Scuba-Cave, TURTLE enters from the other side of the stage with a pennant string, tape, and a small tray table for a birthday cake.)
TURTLE: Good. No one’s around. (as she sets up the table and then proceeds to hang the pennant string over the Scuba-Cave opening; then realizes she forgot the sign) Oh, fish sticks! I forgot the birthday sign. (as she quickly leaves to get the sign)
(As soon as TURTLE exits, GREAT WHITE comes to the door of the cave and notices the pennant string.)
GREAT WHITE: Hmm . . . how’d this get here? (as he pulls it down, then looks in the direction of The Abyss) It won’t be long now . . . ha ha ha . . . (as he retreats back into the cave)
(Then TURTLE enters with a birthday sign for Scuba-Man and immediately notices the pennant string on the ground.)
TURTLE: Now how did that happen? (as she picks it up) Must need more tape. (as she sticks it back up with more tape this time) There, that should hold it. (then she attaches the birthday sign nearby and takes a step back to look things over) Good. Now for the cake. (as she leaves to get the cake)
(As soon as TURTLE exits, GREAT WHITE comes to the door of the cave again and notices the pennant string.)
GREAT WHITE: What’s going on around here?? (then he turns to speak to his minions) Did one of you nitwits do this?
THUG VOICE 2: [Recorded] (from inside the Scuba-Cave) No, boss . . . it wadn’t us.
GREAT WHITE: Hmm . . . (as he pulls the pennant string down again, then looks in the direction of The Abyss) They must be taking the long way. (then he retreats back into the cave)
(Then TURTLE enters with a birthday cake. As soon as she sets the cake on the table, she notices the pennant string on the ground again.)
TURTLE: (frustrated) What’s going on around here?? (as she briefly looks around then proceeds to tape the pennant string back up)
(Then GREAT WHITE comes to the door as TURTLE is re-hanging the pennant string.)
GREAT WHITE: Oh, it’s “Turtle Soup!” So that’s where that came from? You had me so confused!
TURTLE: (scared) Sorry . . . I . . . I . . . I didn’t . . . didn’t know anyone was in there.
GREAT WHITE: (notices the fear on TURTLE’S face) Hey, don’t worry . . . I’m too busy to eat you, right now . . . maybe later, though. So . . . what’s the occasion? Somebody’s birthday or something?
TURTLE: Uh . . . it’s, uh . . . it’s Scuba-Man’s birthday. And I just . . . wanted to . . . surprise him.
GREAT WHITE: Hey, I’m here to surprise him too!
TURTLE: (laughs nervously) Ha, ha, ha. Wow . . . what a . . . what a coincidence. Well . . . I beh . . . better get going.
GREAT WHITE: But you just got here! I was hoping you could stay for dinner. (with an evil snicker)
TURTLE: (scared and awkward at the same time) Dinner?? Uh . . . thank you, but I’ve already got plans. Well . . . good-bye! (TURTLE quickly exits.)
GREAT WHITE: How disappointing. Oh well . . . (then he turns his attention toward the direction of The Abyss again.) What could possibly be taking them so long? (then he hears something) Wait . . . I think I hear something (as he pauses) Yes, here they come! (as he quickly retreats into the cave)
(As GREAT WHITE retreats into the Scuba-Cave, the SUPERHEROES enter escorting OCTOPUS in handcuffs.)
SCUBA-MAN: I have to commend you, Snorkel-Boy, for having the Octo-cuffs with you. I’m not sure what we would have done without them.
SNORKEL-BOY: Well, like I said before, Scuba-Man, it pays to be prepared. (then notices the “Happy Birthday” sign) Great natal anniversary surprise, Scuba-Man! Someone’s remembered your birthday!
SCUBA-MAN: Yes . . . I see that, Snorkel-Boy! And naturally, the question that follows is . . . who? Who could have done this?
OCTOPUS: Who cares? You got cake, didn’t you?
SNORKEL-BOY: Yes, but he doesn’t know who to thank for such a kind gesture.
OCTOPUS: Oh, brother.
SCUBA-MAN: Of course, we wouldn’t expect a villain such as yourself to understand the need to express gratitude. But know that being thankful is an extremely important virtue, and one that God expects from all of us.
SNORKEL-BOY: Yeah, Octopus, 1 Thessalonians 5:18 says,
In everything, give thanks; for this is the will of God in
Christ Jesus for you.”
SCUBA-MAN: And how could we be anything but thankful for all He’s done? It was an incredibly costly thing that Jesus did—taking the punishment for our sins so we could have peace with God.
SNORKEL-BOY: Yeah, and now God offers eternal life for anyone who turns away from their sins and accepts what Jesus did for them. Talk about an incredible gift!
OCTOPUS: Okay, okay . . . sorry I said anything!
(SCUBA-MAN takes a closer look at the cake.)
SCUBA-MAN: Mmm . . . As much as I’d like to dive right into this cake, we must exercise self-control and secure the prisoner first. You stay with Octopus while I go into the Scuba-Cave and prepare the Evil Prisoner Detention Cell. I’ll be back momentarily.
SNORKEL-BOY: You can count on me, Scuba-Man.
SCUBA-MAN: (suddenly hears something from inside the cave) Wait! My super-sensitive hearing is picking up some movement inside the cave. I think we may have some visitors . . . and I don’t mean the welcome kind.
SNORKEL-BOY: Jumping jellyfish, Scuba-Man! If someone is waiting to attack, you’re going to need my help!
SCUBA-MAN: Negative, Snorkel-Boy! You MUST stay with the prisoner!
(SCUBA-MAN leaves and goes into the Scuba-Cave.)
SNORKEL-BOY: (admiring) Man, I hope to be like him someday!
(Then, suddenly, a fight [sfx and video] ensues inside the cave with various sound effects and articles flying out of the cave.)
SNORKEL-BOY: Scuba-Man! Are you okay?!
(Then SCUBA-MAN emerges from the cave with GREAT WHITE wrapped in chain and padlocked.)
SCUBA-MAN: Look what I caught!
SNORKEL-BOY: Great White Shark, Scuba-Man! You got him!
SCUBA-MAN: Yes, and five of his thugs!
GREAT WHITE: “Associates.”
GREAT WHITE: “Associates.” It’s not polite to call people “thugs.”
SNORKEL-BOY: Where are they, Scuba-Man?
SCUBA-MAN: Locked inside Evil Prisoner Detention Cell A. Now to prepare Evil Prisoner Detention Cells B and C for these two. Watch them closely . . . I won’t be long.
SNORKEL-BOY: Don’t worry . . . I won’t let them out of my sight.
(SCUBA-MAN exits into the Scuba-Cave.)
OCTOPUS: Wow! I’m impressed. No wonder they call you The Dynamic Duo of the Deep. You guys are really special.
SNORKEL-BOY: Aw, shucks, Octopus. You probably say that to all the superheroes.
OCTOPUS: Nonsense, Boy-Wonder! I mean look at what you did back at The Abyss. Great White and I thought we had the upper hand, but you sure proved us wrong!
GREAT WHITE: Yeah, that “pretending to be asleep” routine really worked. How did you do that?
SNORKEL-BOY: (as he stretches his arms and then places his hands behind his head, exposing his armpits next to GREAT WHITE) Oh, well we just developed an immunity to Sleep Walking Spray, that’s all. We did the same thing with Kryptonite.
GREAT WHITE: Well . . . maybe next you should think about an immunity to body odor.
(Embarrassed, SNORKEL-BOY quickly lowers his arms.)
OCTOPUS: (to GREAT WHITE) Now, that wasn’t very nice.
GREAT WHITE: Hey, I’m a villain. I’m not supposed to be nice.
OCTOPUS: (to SNORKEL-BOY) Don’t listen to him. He just wishes he was a superhero like you.
GREAT WHITE: Ah . . . they’re not so special.
OCTOPUS: What are you talking about?? There’s no one like Scuba-Man, so big and strong . . . and Snorkel-Boy, so . . . so . . . (can’t think of anything to say)
SNORKEL-BOY: So, what?
GREAT WHITE: So plump and tender. You know, you’re making me hungry.
SNORKEL-BOY: Sorry, but I’m not on the menu.
GREAT WHITE: That’s for me to decide.
SNORKEL-BOY: (to OCTOPUS) He’s starting to creep me out.
OCTOPUS: (to GREAT WHITE) Hey, leave him alone! (pause) Say, could I ask you a tiny little favor? If it’s not too much trouble, of course.
SNORKEL-BOY: I’m listening.
OCTOPUS: Well, you see . . . I have this awful itch on my far left tentacle, but I can’t scratch it because of these things. (referring to the Octocuffs)
SNORKEL-BOY: (pretending to be concerned) Really? That’s terrible.
GREAT WHITE: Yeah . . . and besides, her doctor says that she shouldn’t be handcuffed because it’s not good for the circulation.
OCTOPUS: Which is probably why my tentacles are starting to go numb. So, what do you say? Couldn’t you just take them off for a little while?
SNORKEL-BOY: (pretending to waver) Well, I don’t know . . . .
OCTOPUS: (hopeful) Oh please! I promise I won’t try to escape or anything!
SNORKEL-BOY: Nope! Sorry, Octopus. Until you’re locked inside the Evil Prisoner Detention Cell, you’re just gonna have to suffer!
OCTOPUS: (to SNORKEL-BOY) Meanie!! I take back all those nice things I said about you!!
GREAT WHITE: (to OCTOPUS) I was wondering why you were being so friendly.
(SCUBA-MAN comes out of the Scuba-Cave.)
SCUBA-MAN: Ok, the cells are ready. Octopus and Great White, you’re both under arrest for conspiring to silence the Word of God.
SNORKEL-BOY: Not to mention your devious plot to do away with Scuba-Man and Snorkel-Boy!
GREAT WHITE: And it would’ve worked too, if it weren't for those meddling kids!
OCTOPUS: (confused) What?
GREAT WHITE: I’ve just always wanted to say that.
SCUBA-MAN: C’mon, let’s go.
(The SUPERHEROES escort OCTOPUS and GREAT WHITE into the Scuba-Cave. Then ALEX, still carrying her Bible, enters from side stage—from where she had left to rescue the SUPERHEROES. She walks slowly to center stage and sits down a few feet in front of the Scuba-Cave.)
ALEX: (sad, depressed, wimpers, sniffles) I can’t believe it. They were just trying to help me. (pause) They were just trying to help me and now . . . (sniff, sniff) they’re gone forever.
(Hearing ALEX cry, SNORKEL-BOY emerges slowly from the Scuba-Cave.)
ALEX: (doesn’t know SNORKEL-BOY is nearby) They’re gone forever . . . and it’s all my fault! (pause) Ocean Land will never be the same now.
SNORKEL-BOY: (while half-crying) Gee, Alex . . . I’m so sorry to hear about your friends. Is there anything we can do?
ALEX: No . . . there’s nothing anyone can—(then realizes it’s SNORKEL-BOY) Snorkel-Boy?? SNORKEL-BOY!! I can’t believe it! How’d you get here??
SNORKEL-BOY: What do you mean? . . . I just walked.
ALEX: But . . . what about The Abyss??
SNORKEL-BOY: The Abyss?
ALEX: Octopus and the shark took you and Scuba-Man away!
SNORKEL-BOY: Oh, that was just an act. We weren’t really asleep.
ALEX: (excited, happy) I can’t believe it! I thought that was the end of you! But you’re okay!
(SCUBA-MAN emerges from the Scuba-Cave.)
SNORKEL-BOY: Yeah . . . I think so. (as he looks himself over)
SCUBA-MAN: (to ALEX) There you are. You know, you’ve caused us a lot of concern young lady.
ALEX: I know, and I’m really sorry. You were just trying to protect me, and I was too immature to see that. And Turtle tried to warn me about “stranger danger,” but I was too busy and excited to pay attention.
SCUBA-MAN: Oh, well. There’s no real harm done.
SNORKEL-BOY: And at least you learned something.
ALEX: Yeah . . . I learned that I’ve got a lot of growing up to do, AND that I need to take this book more seriously. (as she holds up her Bible)
SCUBA-MAN: Well . . . then it was all worth it.
(Then TURTLE pokes her head out.)
ALEX: What was that?
SNORKEL-BOY: Oh, it’s Turtle. (to TURTLE) What is it?
TURTLE: Is the big shark gone?
SCUBA-MAN: (to SNORKEL-BOY) She probably means Great White. (to TURTLE) Yes, he’s in custody. I just locked him up a minute ago.
TURTLE: So it’s safe to come out?
SCUBA-MAN: Yes, it’s safe.
TURTLE: Whew! That’s good. For a while there, I thought for sure I was going to be an appetizer!
SNORKEL-BOY: Speaking of food . . . I’m getting hungry.
SCUBA-MAN: I could go for some nourishment, as well.
TURTLE: Well, good, because I’ve got your birthday dinner ready and waiting.
SNORKEL-BOY: (to SCUBA-MAN) Oh . . . so it was Turtle who put up your birthday decorations!
TURTLE: Well, of course! I’m the one who keeps the Ocean Land calendar, you know.
SCUBA-MAN: Thank you. That was very kind.
SNORKEL-BOY: Well, what are we waiting for?! Let’s eat!
ALEX: Can I carry the cake?
SCUBA-MAN: Sure. (ALEX picks up the cake, and then they all start to walk toward TURTLE’S residence.)
ALEX: I love birthday parties! Can I blow out the candles, too?
TURTLE: Uh . . . sorry, but we can’t do candles in Ocean Land. We’re under water, remember?
ALEX: Oh, yeah . . . I forgot.
(Then TURTLE stops at the passageway to her residence, allowing ALEX to exit first, followed by SCUBA-MAN.)
TURTLE: (to SNORKEL-BOY, suddenly concerned) Wait! Are you sure it’s okay to leave the Scuba-Cave with the big shark in there?
SNORKEL-BOY: Absolutely. The prisoners are all locked snug in their cells, and Scuba-Man has the key, so there’s nothing to worry about . . . nothing at all.
(Then SNORKEL-BOY exits.)
TURTLE: (a bit uneasy as she glances over at the Scuba-Cave.) That’s good. Just . . . making sure.
(TURTLE exits, then we hear GREAT WHITE and OCTOPUS laugh.)
(Day 4 Recorded Closing)