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Characters: Mr. Peterson (park director), Gabe and Cody (show hosts), Millard Grover (industrial spy), Mabel Magoo (park guest), Miss Ryan (administrative assistant).
(Scene begins with The Extreme Team logo slide on screen and MR. PETERSON on stage, front and center. There’s been a short commercial break, and he’s greeting the crowd just before the final segment of the show begins.)
MR. PETERSON: Hello! My name is Pete Peterson, the director of IncrediWorld and on behalf of all of us who work here, I’d just like to extend a warm welcome to each one of you. Now, if you haven’t already noticed, we’re not quite like other theme parks. Oh sure, we have all the rides and attractions you’d expect, but we also have a message to convey . . . and that’s that “in the beginning, GOD created the heavens and the earth.” So while you’re having fun, it’s our hope that you’ll also learn something along the way here at IncrediWorld, voted “The World’s Best Theme Park” three years in a row! And now, back to The Extreme Team!
(Extreme Team Theme Song plays as GABE and CODY enter from backstage and MR. PETERSON exits.)
GABE: (to the crowd) Are you all having fun?!
CODY: Okay, well . . . I think we have time for one more question from the mailbag.
(Mailbag Question slide appears on the screen.)
GABE: Katie, from South Dakota, asks . . . (as he reads from the screen) “What happened to the dinosaurs?” Well, Katie, that seems to be the big question these days, doesn’t it. But really, it’s not as mysterious as you might think.
CODY: One popular explanation is that the dinosaurs died 65 million years ago after a giant meteor hit the earth.
(GABE quickly grabs an umbrella for them to hide under as a Meteor Strike [sfx] is heard and they pretend the earth is shaking.)
GABE: And another explanation is that they evolved into birds.
(A Bird Tweet [sfx] is heard.)
CODY: (looks through his binoculars as he points to an imaginary tree branch) Aw, look Gabe . . . up in the tree. It’s a cute little T. rex!
GABE: Now, raise your hand if you’ve heard these before. (as he waits for a response) But are they true? Can you say, “NO?”
(The crowd responds with a loud “NO!” along with a deep and loud, “NO” [sfx].)
GABE: First of all, you need to understand that the 65 million years is not a fact! It’s just a belief about the past that’s based on lots of assumptions.
CODY: Yeah, dinosaur bones don’t come with labels telling us how old they are!
GABE: And if you know anything about the design of birds, it’s just a fairy tale to believe that a cold-blooded reptile (as he does a “gator chop” and then a “chicken” motion with his arms) could turn into a warm-blooded bird. And c’mon . . . scales turning into feathers? I don’t think so.
CODY: Sounds to me like they’re just making wild guesses!
GABE: But God, who was there in the beginning and always tells the truth, gave us the Bible (as he holds up a Bible and Bible slide appears on screen). So we have a source of information about the past that’s 100% reliable!
CODY: Yeah . . . and the Bible tells us that all land animals—including dinosaurs—were created on Day Six, which was only about 6,000 years ago.
GABE: So you can just throw the “millions of years” right out the window!
(GABE pretends to throw the “Millions of Years” out the window, then a Window Breaking [sfx] is heard.)
CODY: Oh, and guess what? The Bible says that man was also created on Day Six, so you know what that means! Dinosaurs and man lived at the saaaame time!
(A Scream [sfx] is heard.)
GABE: Okay . . . so if a giant meteor didn’t wipe them out and they didn’t turn into birds . . . what did happen to the dinosaurs?
CODY: (raises his hand like a child at school) Oh! Oh! Oh! Pick me! Pick me!
GABE: Yes, Cody?
CODY: They just died?
GABE: (a Ding [sfx] is heard) That’s correct! And it really shouldn’t surprise us . . . animals die and become extinct every year. That’s just the way it is.
CODY: But remember . . . (Perfect World slide appears on screen) . . . when God first created the heavens and the earth, everything was good. There was no such thing as death! But then Adam sinned . . . (then Broken World slide appears) . . . and death came into the world like a curse! (Thunder [sfx] is heard)
GABE: So the things that cause animals to die and become extinct today . . . like diseases . . . and catastrophes . . . or not having enough food . . . or being hunted . . . are the same things that caused the extinction of the dinosaurs.
CODY: If they really ARE extinct . . .
(Dinosaur Footsteps and Roar [sfx] is heard as GABE and CODY pretend to cower in fear.)
GABE: Well . . . we’re out of time for today. Don’t forget to email us with all your animal questions, and we’ll do our best to answer them. You’ve been a great audience, and we hope you enjoy the rest of your day at IncrediWorld!
CODY: Good-bye, everybody!
(Extreme Team Theme Song is played as GABE and CODY wave to the crowd. Then MR. PETERSON enters from backstage to greet them.)
MR. PETERSON: Another great show, gentlemen . . . and let me just say how relieved I am that you didn’t take that Adventure TV offer. I know that was kind of a big deal.
GABE: Well . . . I have to admit we kinda got sucked in, at first, but when they said we had to keep God out of it, we knew we couldn’t do it.
CODY: Yeah . . . we weren’t about to compromise our faith like that.
MR. PETERSON: And I would have hated to see you leave. We’ve got such a mission field here.
CODY: So, what are our chances of getting the “Best Theme Park” award again this year?
MR. PETERSON: Slim to none, I’m afraid. We just had too many things go wrong this week. In fact, yesterday they told us that our scores were down.
CODY: Oh, man! I was hoping we’d keep the streak alive.
GABE: It really was a strange week, wasn’t it.
MR PETERSON: Yeah . . . and it all started with me being your number one weird and wacky creature! (suspicious) Gee . . . I wonder how that happened?
(MABEL enters from the rear of the auditorium with MISS RYAN following close behind loaded down with MABEL’S things, including souvenirs and prizes. MABEL is ready to leave and wants to say her “good-byes” to everyone.)
GABE: Hey . . . don’t look at us!
CODY: Yeah . . . we had nothing to do with that! Everyone knows we like to prank people, but that was definitely not us!
MR. PETERSON: I know . . . I believe you. I just wish it would stop and we could find out who’s responsible. (then he sees MABEL) Oh, look . . . here comes Mabel. (to MABEL) Well . . . it looks like you’ve been having a good time!
MABEL: Did you say something? (as she adjusts her hearing aid)
MR. PETERSON: (a bit louder and slower) Yes . . . I said, it looks like you’ve been having a good time.
MABEL: Oh, yes! We’ve been having a great time! Miss Ryan is such a hoot!
MR. PETERSON: (surprised) Really?
MISS RYAN: She’s exaggerating, of course.
MABEL: (to MISS RYAN) Hey, let’s show them that thingamajig!
MISS RYAN: You mean our secret handshake?
GABE: Secret handshake?
MR. PETERSON: You’re kidding.
MISS RYAN: No . . . just watch and be impressed.
(MABEL and MISS RYAN put their things down and then perform a long and impressive secret handshake. When they finish, GABE, CODY, and MR. PETERSON cheer.)
MABEL: Now, ain’t that the cat’s meow?!
MR. PETERSON: It sure is!
MISS RYAN: We practiced while we were waiting in line. It was really fun.
MABEL: Well, I just want to thank you all for a really grand time! You’ve made me feel young again!
MR. PETERSON: You’re not leaving, are you?
MABEL: Hey, if I don’t leave . . . I can’t come back. Besides, they’re having pot roast and Harvard beets down at the senior center tonight, and I promised Edna I’d go with her.
CODY: (expressing dislike) Harvard beets?
MABEL: I know . . . I’d rather have funnel cake, but I keep hearing my cardiologist’s voice telling me . . . if it tastes good, spit it out!
(They exchange hugs and handshakes as they say their good-byes.)
MISS RYAN: We’re really going to miss having you around.
MABEL: Don’t worry . . . I’ll be back. You know how much I love this place! (as she pulls a leather jacket and sunglasses out of her things and starts to put them on)
MR. PETERSON: Gabe and Cody can escort you out.
CODY: Yes . . . we’d be happy to!
(CODY helps her with her jacket, and GABE picks up her other belongings.)
MABEL: Oh, thank you! (as she starts to leave) Ciao, everyone! (pronounced, “chow”)
(MABEL, GABE, and CODY exit stage right.)
MISS RYAN: I hope I’m like that when I’m her age. She’s hilarious!
MR. PETERSON: Well . . . I guess you were right.
MISS RYAN: About what?
MR. PETERSON: About Mabel. You thought it might turn out to be a good thing after all . . . and it did. It really did.
MISS RYAN: Yeah . . . she was a blessing.
(Suddenly, the sound of a Motorcycle [sfx] is heard.)
MISS RYAN: You don’t think that was . . .
MR. PETERSON: Nah . . . it couldn’t have been . . . could it?
(MILLARD enters from backstage and approaches MR. PETERSON.)
MILLARD: Mr. Peterson?
MR. PETERSON: Yes . . . why aren’t you in your uniform?
MILLARD: Well, uh . . . that’s what I wanted to talk to you about.
MISS RYAN: (to MR. PETERSON) I’ll be in the office if you need me.
(MISS RYAN exits toward the IncrediWorld Offices.)
MR. PETERSON: (to MISS RYAN) Thank you. (to MILLARD) It’s Millard, isn’t it?
MILLARD: Uh, yes . . . that’s correct, sir.
MR. PETERSON: So, Millard . . . what do you need to speak to me about?
MILLARD: Well, sir . . . first of all . . . the reason I’m not wearing a uniform is that . . . . I don’t work here.
MR. PETERSON: (thrilled, he reacts) Really?? . . . (then pretends to be concerned) I mean, really? Well . . . I’m so sorry it didn’t work out for you. But I’m sure you’ll find employment somewhere else very soon.
MILLARD: No . . . you see, I never did work here.
MR. PETERSON: (pause) Never? I don’t understand.
MILLARD: Have you ever heard of Mr. Romano, the owner of Big Thrill Theme Park?
MR. PETERSON: Yes, I think so.
MILLARD: Well . . . uh . . . he’s my boss.
MR. PETERSON: He’s . . . your boss? (short pause as he thinks) Oh . . . I see now. So, you’re the one who’s responsible for all the mishaps this week.
MILLARD: Yes, sir . . . guilty as charged. You see, Mr. Romano hated losing “the World’s Best Theme Park” award so much that he sent me over here to do something about it. And here’s the evidence. (as he hands MR. PETERSON his backpack) I think everything should be there . . . duct tape, baby powder, super glue, etc . . . oh, and uh . . . (as he reaches into his pocket for a key) . . . here’s the key to the animal cages. I didn’t end up using it after all.
MR. PETERSON: (with sarcasm) Well, thank you, Millard . . . we really appreciate that.
MILLARD: Oh . . . you’re welcome.
MR. PETERSON: But . . . why are you telling me this?
MILLARD: Because I realize now that what I did was wrong . . . and I just want to say that . . . well . . . I’m really sorry. It’s all because of this (as he holds up a Bible).
MR. PETERSON: Let me see that. (as he takes the Bible from MILLARD) This is Cody’s Bible. He’s been looking for it.
MILLARD: Oh . . . sorry. I just found it on the stage when I was going through my backpack yesterday. Do you think it’s okay that I read it?
MR. PETERSON: (as his attitude about MILLARD changes) Absolutely. I know Cody would be thrilled that you read it.
MILLARD: So . . . what happens now? I’ll probably have to go to jail, right?
MR. PETERSON: Well, I don’t think that will be necessary.
MILLARD: Really? But I ruined your chances to win “the World’s Best Theme Park” award.
(MISS RYAN enters from the IncrediWorld Offices and proceeds to where MR. PETERSON and MILLARD are standing.)
MR. PETERSON: That’s okay, Millard . . . I’m disappointed about the award, but I’m much more concerned about your relationship with God. Nothing is more important than that. Why don’t you come to my office, and we’ll talk about it.
MISS RYAN: (as she hands MR. PETERSON an envelope) This just came in . . . it’s from Adventure TV. It’s probably the final results for the award.
MILLARD: Oh, boy . . . this is awkward.
MR. PETERSON: Thank you, Miss Ryan.
MISS RYAN: You’re welcome, sir. (as she turns to leave)
(MISS RYAN returns to the IncrediWorld Offices.)
MR. PETERSON: (short pause as he stares at the envelope) Hmmm . . . I’m not sure I want to open it. C’mon, Millard . . . my office is this way (as he directs MILLARD toward his office).
(As MILLARD exits toward the IncrediWorld Offices, MR. PETERSON follows close behind until he decides to stop and open the letter. Then he sees that IncrediWorld won the award after all!)
MR. PETERSON: (astonished) Hey, Miss Ryan . . . guess what?! WE DID IT!! WE WON!! WOO-HOO!! (as he quickly turns and exits toward the IncrediWorld Offices)