Classroom Peacemaking: How to De‑escalate Classroom Conflicts

In his sermon on the mount, Jesus said, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God” (Matthew 5:9). There’s a big difference between peacemaking and peacekeeping. A peacekeeper will do anything to keep the peace in the classroom, including compromising, overlooking offenses, neglecting to deal with problems, punishing both sides in a conflict (even when this is detrimental to “peace”), or dealing with them forcefully. A peacemaker understands that in a fallen world, conflicts will arise; and when they do, a peacemaker will wisely enter the conflict and seek peace for all involved. Here are a few ways to de-escalate classroom conflicts and make peace in your classroom.

1. Keep calm. When tensions rise, it’s natural for voices and body language to rise too. Use low, gentle tones and slow body movements to avoid triggering a higher emotional response from the student. Squat or sit down to get on their eye level and keep a respectful distance between you and the student so that the student does not feel threatened.

2. Ask questions.

   • What happened? (If two students are involved, assure each student that you will listen to their explanation.)
   • Why did you react this way?
   • What emotions are you feeling (e.g., anger, fear, sadness, etc.)?

3. Show empathy. Though the student’s reactions may be wrong, you should empathize with lines such as the following:

   • I know how easy it is to feel angry when someone treats you wrongly.
   • It can be hard to control our emotions sometimes.

   Empathizing is in no way dismissing the offense. It’s a means of de-escalating emotions so that the student can begin reasoning rather than feeling his or her way through the conflict.

4. Wait. It’s easy, especially for Christian educators, to want to teach students all the errors of their ways and preach the truth of God’s Word to them immediately after (or worse, during) the de-escalation. While emotions are high, students are not in the mental framework to learn. Allow the student to return to his desk or sit in a designated area while you finish teaching or while recess continues. After class, hold the offending student(s) back and discuss the earlier conflict rationally and biblically. You may want to address the following points:

   • At our school, we treat image bearers of God with love, respect, and dignity.
   • At our school, this [disciplinary action] is the consequence of this [offense].

   You can also help the student apply appropriate Scripture, chapel sermons, or other Bible teachings he or she should know or might have recently learned in school.

5. Restore. Disciplinary action is often necessary, but it should never leave the student feeling shamed, guilty, frustrated, or ousted from his or her teacher or classmates. The goal is for students to repent of any sin, receive grace and forgiveness through prayer and confession, and ultimately be restored to fellowship.

If a conflict results in violence and threatens the safety of anyone in the school, including the offending student, follow your school’s guidelines for safety protocol.

If you or someone you know is interested in teaching, consider applying at Answers in Genesis’ Christian school, Answers Academy.